Lonely Hearts Personals Service

Name: Lester
Age: 27
Quote: "Git 'er done!"

Likes: Hollerin, Cussin, Candlelight Dinners
Dislikes: Fags, Silverware

About Me: Ima big soft southern fried teddy bear. Lookin fer a gal what can hold her own in a sausage eatin contest and gut her own bass. call #1683




Name: Dipsy
Age: 42
Quote: "Jesus loves the little children"

Likes: Children, Jesus, Cats
Dislikes: Mean People

About Me: I've been a professional clown for 16 years. Looking for someone who loves the sound of children's laughter. No kids but Sprinkles, Lucy, and Mr. Paws are very picky! call #2764




Name: Brittney
Age: 17
Quote: "My lovely lady lumps!"

Likes: My Family, American Idol, and My Pom Squad Sistas - Holla!
Dislikes: Math (ugh!), Tan Lines

About Me: Just your typical American sweetheart. Looking for someone to hang at the mall with, watch Idol, and maybe talk on the phone until midnight. R U my special someone? call # 8278




Name: Brandon
Age: 19
Quote: "This is the first day of my life."

Likes: White Belts, Hair Cuttery
Dislikes: Confrontation, Scenes

About Me: What can I say that won't sound cliched? If you want to hang out or something, that's cool I guess. call #4399




Name: Beth
Age: 35
Quote: "Eye of the Tiger"

Likes: Shoes, Lube
Dislikes: Foreign Cars, Low Carb Diets

About Me: Miss Guns USA two years running. I need a man that can handle all I got and more. Are you up to it big boy? call # 6387




Name: Rupert
Age: 78
Quote: "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"

Likes: Good Time
Dislikes: No Good Time

About Me: Number one party man wants party with you. Dance all night long baby. Wants show you love thing. Hit me up as soon as ready for hot stuff. call #5590