The amazing tall tale of Buggering Ben

Come listen to my story 'bout a man named Ben,
lived his life in pursuit of other men.

Chasin' tail just as happy as could be,
popped his first cherry at the tender age of three.

Now Ben was known as the greatest of them all,
sodomized his way through summer spring and fall.

But then one day a new contender was seen,
someone came along and built a buggering machine.

The folks all said Ben finally met his match,
that new contraption surely does the job fast.

Aint no way Ben outscrews technology,
might as well hang it up and leave gracefully.

Old Ben didn't shine to all the quittin' talk,
packed his bags up with lube and he took himself a walk.

Down to the place where the boys run free,
he squared up his shoulders and he made his decree.

That new contraption's fancy, I'll give you a hand,
but it don't beat a good hard working man.

I challenge my willy against your machine,
and then we'll see who's the buggering king.

The people all gathered to see the mighty test,
nobody thought that Ben would be the best.

They lined up the boys all fresh and tight,
and off went the whistle to start the big fight.

Ben pounded down the line like an all-time pro,
the machine kept up and didn't seem to slow.

All through the day the two contenders went to task,
leavin' in their wake a big mess of sore ass.

But then old Ben seemed to start to fall behind,
the machine kept pumpin' and moved on down the line.

Just as it looked like Ben was gonna fail,
the machine started smokin' and gave a mighty wail.

It popped all its gears and stopped with a screech,
and Buggering Ben rammed his way to victory.

The people all cheered and raised their hands high,
old Ben just nodded and gave them all a smile.

He sat himself down and he took his last breath,
happy to go out with a champion's death.

Now Ben was known as the greatest of them all,
sodomized his way through summer spring and fall.

Chasin' tail just as happy as could be,
popped his first cherry at the tender age of three.