Famous Quotes - Gerald Ford

"I am acutely aware that you have not elected me as your President by your ballots, so fuck you and your sister."

"I had a lot of experience with people smarter than I am. Those people are now dead."

"I know I am getting better at jerking off because I am hitting fewer spectators."

"I would hope that understanding and reconciliation are not limited to the glory hole alone."

"If Lincoln were alive today, he'd probably be pretty pissed at you guys."

"Our constitution works. Our great republic is a government of laws, not of sissy-boys."

"A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to poop on your chest if you want it to."

"In all my public and private acts as your president, I expect to follow my instincts of cruelty and manipulation with full confidence that honesty is for communists and queers."

"The three-martini lunch is the epitome of American efficiency. Where else can you get an earful, a bellyful and a happy ending at the same time?"

"Truth is the glue that holds government together. Goat's blood is the oil that makes governments go."