Rock Stars get real jobs Pt. 1

Customer: Hello?

Morrissey: Hello, my name is Morrissey and I'm calling today with an exciting offer to join the millions of satisfied customers who subscribe to the New York Times.

Customer: I'm sorry, I'm not interested.

Morrissey: sigh....No one loves me.

Customer: I beg your pardon?

Morrissey: I just want to sell subscriptions to people who care. But I suppose I'll never find one.

Customer: Look, its not that, I already subscribe to the Washington Post.

Morrissey: I understand, the Washington Post probably understands you in a way that I will never be able to understand you.

Customer: What?

Morrissey: You should just forget about me, I don't mind.

Customer: Ok.....Well, I really am sorry.

Morrissey: Apologies are the harshest form of cruelty.

Customer: Um.....I gotta go.

Morrissey: Be with him, I want you to be happy.

Customer: (CLICK)

Morrissey: Mistress rejection, I cannot leave you.