We will always cherish our Glory Hole

All right now, let's settle down people. Jenkins, I see you there, take your seat. Students and faculty, as your principal, let me be the first you to welcome you back to the newly rebuilt George Washington High School! Yeah! Go Patriots! Very good, it's nice to see that none of you have lost your enthusiasm after these trying few months. As we look forward to a new school year, we also look back and remember those who were lost in that terrible underground gas main explosion. The lovely young girls of the flag squad, bedecked in their glorious Lady Patriots uniforms, the very picture of grace before they were so cruelly taken from us when flames ripped through the gymnasium during summer practice.
As you know, in honor of those brave young women, and due to recent budget cuts, the school board has elected not to rebuild over the crater where the gas burst from the earth and incinerated our dear friends. No, we have decided to keep the site as is, a monument to those who lost their lives. Yes, this site will be preserved and shall henceforth be known as our Glory Hole.
Stop that! You there, this is a serious moment! Stop that snickering at once. You may not think it's "cool" to be proud of your school, or "hip" to honor your deceased peers. But mark my words, young man, the George Washington High Glory Hole will be the envy of the state! People will come from miles just to see our Glory Hole and will take pleasure in its presence.
I want order in this auditorium or I will cancel this assembly immediately! What is the meaning of this ridiculous outburst? You disgrace the memory of those poor girls. Now, if you are all done fooling around, the marching band will be performing a new piece written by our bandleader, Mr. Fleece. Please enjoy "God Bless Our Glory Hole."
Silence! Why do you persist on interrupting? I am very disappointed in all of you! You bring shame to our Glory Hole! This assembly is over!