My deepest condolences...

...that your baby has flippers.

...for the whole Macarena thing.

...about the penile implant.

...that you have lost the gift of gab (and your tongue).

...for the day laborers in the laundry room.

...about the collector's edition director's cut of Boxing Helena.

...that your automatic adult diaper changer failed to catch on.

...for the soup mixup.