Inspiring half-time speeches
December 7, 1934. The Schenectady Sturgeons lead the Dover Red Savages 65-0 at the half.
Listen up men! I know things look bad, but by gum if they can score 65 points in one half so can we! Sure, we lost all three of our quarterbacks in the first quarter. Oh, good news, the doctors gave Johnson a 50/50 chance of ever walking again. But that kid we picked out of the stands, what's his name again? Skippy? He ought to be right as rain again once they realign his jaw. As long as he can keep handing it off to reliable old Buckner here...what? When? Did he say if he was coming back? He said that? And my mother huh? That no good son of a...
Anyway, forget about Buckner. We'll be just fine with Anderson's lucky leg on our side. Oh right, sorry. I'm sure you'll still be able to play with prosthetic toes. That 75-yard field goal try really looked like it had a chance before it bounced off the back of Tubman's head and the linebacker ran you over on the return.
Ahem, even still, I have nothing but faith in you. Grady - that was a hell of a block on the weak side when they collapsed Perry's lung on that safety. If you hadn't picked up the sixth rusher, they might have killed the poor lad.
Jackson - good effort on that punt block! Of course, the play was whistled dead 30 seconds before you even got to the ball, but that's the kind of stuff I like to see. Hustle wins games!
And Quinn - you can't let the defense get into your head like that. We've all heard the jokes about your sister and the garden hose. But bawling like a baby while you tattle to the refs isn't going to win the respect you deserve.
So what's it going to be men? We are the Savages! Remember our motto: Beat us once, shame on you. Beat us twice, shame on us. Beat us for the 435th time? Only if we beat ourselves! Now lets get out there and show 'em what we got!
Oh, except for you Brady. The doc says its probably not a good idea to put you back in the game with your eye hanging out of the socket like that.
Listen up men! I know things look bad, but by gum if they can score 65 points in one half so can we! Sure, we lost all three of our quarterbacks in the first quarter. Oh, good news, the doctors gave Johnson a 50/50 chance of ever walking again. But that kid we picked out of the stands, what's his name again? Skippy? He ought to be right as rain again once they realign his jaw. As long as he can keep handing it off to reliable old Buckner here...what? When? Did he say if he was coming back? He said that? And my mother huh? That no good son of a...
Anyway, forget about Buckner. We'll be just fine with Anderson's lucky leg on our side. Oh right, sorry. I'm sure you'll still be able to play with prosthetic toes. That 75-yard field goal try really looked like it had a chance before it bounced off the back of Tubman's head and the linebacker ran you over on the return.
Ahem, even still, I have nothing but faith in you. Grady - that was a hell of a block on the weak side when they collapsed Perry's lung on that safety. If you hadn't picked up the sixth rusher, they might have killed the poor lad.
Jackson - good effort on that punt block! Of course, the play was whistled dead 30 seconds before you even got to the ball, but that's the kind of stuff I like to see. Hustle wins games!
And Quinn - you can't let the defense get into your head like that. We've all heard the jokes about your sister and the garden hose. But bawling like a baby while you tattle to the refs isn't going to win the respect you deserve.
So what's it going to be men? We are the Savages! Remember our motto: Beat us once, shame on you. Beat us twice, shame on us. Beat us for the 435th time? Only if we beat ourselves! Now lets get out there and show 'em what we got!
Oh, except for you Brady. The doc says its probably not a good idea to put you back in the game with your eye hanging out of the socket like that.
posted by B at Thursday, November 02, 2006
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