Rock Stars get real jobs, Pt. 2

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-BEEP-

Courtney Love: Yeah wharroo want huh?

Caller: Uh, hi. Heh, this is my first time doing this, I'm a little nervous. How do we start?

Courtney: Start wha? Who aroo callin a skank?

Caller: Excuse me? Um, how do you want to start the..you know...dirty talk?

Courtney: I gotcher dirty right here mister, whydonchoo get a whiff of my snatch?

Caller: Oh dear. Uh, ok, tell me about your snatch you dirty thing.

Courtney: Lishen you horse fucker, my hoo ha aint no concern of yours. You should....you're the horsh fucker here.

Caller: Listen, that's not really what I had...

Courtney: (Coughing violently into phone) Whoo, you ever cough up somethin black? Wuzzat mean?

Caller: That's disgusting! I'm not paying for this.

Courtney: Go on and run to yer momma you little bish. You can't handle a real woman like me. I gotta band, I'm the queen of rock and roll. You're jush.....you're jush......you got a smoke?

Caller: How can I....never mind, I'm hanging up.

Courtney: Wait don't go! I love you very mush. Would you buy my record? Ish on the indernets, I aint lettin those corprat ashholes control my art no more.

Caller: I'm sorry, I really must be going.

Courtney: Nooooooo, why don't yoooo liiiike meee? I'm jush a normal pershon trying to make my art. You can jush go and shit in your bed you closet fag! Getoutta my ear!

Caller: (Dial Tone)

Courtney: Yeah, whar you want now?

Courtney Love is a useless fucking sellout.

In April of 2006, Courtney Love announced that she sold the publishing rights to 25% of her share of the Nirvana catalogue to Primary Wave Publishing to help pay her mounting legal debts. In a statement, Love assured Nirvana fans that "We are going to remain very tasteful and true to the spirit of Nirvana while taking the music to places it has never been before."

In February, 2007, a commercial for a baseball video game began to air featuring the Nirvana song "Breed." The song has been licensed to appear in the game as well.

"Breed" is the fourth track on Nirvana's breakthrough album Nevermind, following the radio and MTV hits "Smells Like Teen Spirit," "In Bloom," and "Come As You Are." I always thought of "Breed" as the part of the album where casual Nirvana fans stopped listening, and where the good stuff really started. (Not taking into account their first album Bleach, which is excellent in its own right.)

Remember how upset everyone was (Ms. Love included, I'm sure) when John Lennon's music popped up in a Nike commercial? This is the same god damn thing.

Fuck you, Courtney Love.

You don't sell ownership of something that is so special to so many people, not to mention something that is a thousand times better than anything you could ever hope to produce, just because you are a junkie whore fuck-up. Sell the rights to your own music. Try recording more of your own music. Start giving out handjobs in the bus stop bathroom for all I care. Just don't go pissing away what you had no earthly right to own in the first place!

Courtney, I sincerely hope that this comes back to bite you in the ass and that the backlash will destroy any credibility you could ever have hoped to salvage from your stumbling career. I look forward to the day they find you dead in an alley, suffocated on your own vomit.

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