Can your family afford not to have vole insurance?

The numbers are in and they are staggering: each year an estimated 23 American households are caught unprepared for sudden vole attacks. These devastating attacks have torn apart families and cost taxpayers dozens if not hundreds of dollars.

Here at United American Rodent Insurance Company, we know the potential for suffering and hardship that an unexpected vole attack can cause. For just a few dollars a month, you can protect your home and your loved ones from "Nature's Killing Machines." Our comprehensive coverage will compensate you for any losses sustained from an attack including medical bills, grief counseling, property damage, and even final burial expenses.

But don't take our word for it, what do some of our satisfied customers have to say?

"Those little bastards took my arm clean off at the elbow in about five seconds flat. United American Rodent Insurance Company not only paid for my extensive recovery and rehabilitation, they even covered my lost wages. And they bought me a shiny new hook!" - Robert Carney, Retired Fire Eater.

"We thought we would lose our home after a ravenous horde of voles ate half of one of the support posts on the deck. But thanks to United American Rodent Insurance Company, we were back to enjoying our backyard again in no time!" - Cindy Phelps, Cafeteria Worker

"We never would have been able to afford to bury Grandma after what they done to her, even though there weren't much left. United American Rodent Insurance Company provided a lovely funeral at no cost to us. Now Grandma is with God where the voles can't get her." - Buck "Skeeter" Nelson, Botanist

Put your trust in us and never worry about losing everything to the ever-increasing threat of a wild vole attack. United American Rodent Insurance Company: We do it because we care.