Personality Profile Exam for NecroDyne Defense Systems, Inc.

Greetings applicant! The following 10-question exam will help us to determine if you have what it takes to join the NecroDyne Defense Systems weapons development division. Please answer each question truthfully and calculate your score when you have finished.

1. Charles Manson was:
a) A vicious psychopath that should rightfully spend the rest of his life behind bars
b) That kid who sat behind me in Algebra, I think
c) What I named every pet I've ever owned

2. Sadness is to crying as Happiness is to:
a) Laughing
b) Doing my taxes
c) Dead babies

3. My ideal vacation getaway is:
a) The beach
b) Jury Duty
c) That pit I dug out back and covered with plywood

4. You find a wallet on the street with $50.00 in cash and the owner's name and address clearly printed on the inside. You:
a) Immediately return the wallet and the cash to its rightful owner
b) Post a "Found" poster with a smudged telephone number on a single lamp post on the other side of town and wait three days before spending the cash
c) Burn the wallet and hide in your pit for two weeks just in case "they" wanted you to find it

5. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
a) All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again
b) Humpty Dumpty filed a lawsuit agains the builders of the wall for failing to provide adequate safety railings
c) Die Egg Motherfucker!!!

6. The average male human body consists of about 60%:
a) Water
b) Valuable minerals and organs
c) Lies

7. Fill in the blank - "Every day in every way I am getting _"
a) Better and better
b) A compounded 5% return on my IRA
c) Closer to losing my mind

8. Sometimes I feel like hitting someone:
a) Never
b) If no one is looking
c) Purple

9. My greatest fear is:
a) Death
b) A Democrat-controlled Senate
c) Peace on Earth

10. True or False: Money is the root of all evil.
a) True
b) False
c) No, I am

For each question answered a), give yourself 10 points.
For each question answered b), give yourself 20 points.
For each question answered c), give yourself 30 points.

Results:

10-100 points - We're sorry, but we must reject your application at this time. The gentlemen in the corner will escort you to the "Happy Room" for memory adjustment.
110-200 points - You may not be suited for work in our weapons development division, but there are a number of positions in our legal department that you may be interested in.
210 - 300 points - Congratulations! You are exactly the type of applicant that we are looking for! Please report to sub basement 3-Q for fingerprint erasure and corporate programming. Welcome to the NecroDyne family!