Lesser known scientific breakthroughs

Einstein's Theory of Fat Chicks

F (Representing probability of banging a fattie) equals the sum of D (Number of drinks consumed) times T (Length of current dry spell in weeks) minus A (Number of acquaintances present as witnesses)

F = (D x T) - A

F = (10 x 9) - 4

F = (90) - 4

F = 86% probability of taking home a fat chick.

* When calculations result in a probability of more than 100%, an additional "Achievement of Erection" denominator must be factored in. Thus:

W (Whiskey Dick Denominator) = P (Estimated weight of fat chick in pounds) minus the sum of D times V (Average ABV of drinks consumed)

W = P minus (D x V)

W = 250 - (10 x 7)

W = 250 - (70)

W = 180 Whiskey Dick Denominator

If W is greater than F, there will be one disappointed fat chick in your bed.