People of Boston: You are retarded

What's next? A tactical SWAT strike on some kids building a snowman? Call Homeland Security, there's a plastic bag blowing down the street! Uh oh, that window wasn't open yesterday, everybody duck and cover! I think that graffiti says "Da Bomb," Orange Alert! Orange Alert! Oh noes! A car with out of state plates! Somebody call Jack Bauer!

And so on.