Dear Eddie Murphy:

I have now seen the commercial for your new movie "Norbit" approximately 37,000 times. After suffering through the Pussycat Dolls at least once, sometimes even twice, per commercial break, I can say this with the utmost conviction: I hate you.
Unlike many of my peers, I never really thought you were all that great in the first place. Sure, there was the time my cousin and I got a copy of "Raw" when we were like 10 years old and giggled ourselves silly at all the naughty words, but that's pretty much it. I can remember being in Elementary School when "Coming to America" came out. After hearing the "Your royal balls are clean sire" line more times than I can possibly count, my contempt began to grow.
I can only imagine "Norbit" sat on some studio shelf collecting dust because nearly every movie that you've made lately that wasn't animated or involved you farting a lot has been guaranteed box office poison. And now that you've won everyone's hearts once again with that stupid "Dreamgirls" movie they rushed "Norbit" out to capitalize before your star dims once more.
How dare you sir, you should have the common decency to fade away forever so that today's youth aren't subjected to this kind of crap. And by today's youth I mean me, because I'm too lazy to activate my TIVO box and I'm really sick of that fucking commercial.