An exclusive interview with Satan!

(Furious Tuscadero) AAAAAH!
(Satan) Relax man, everthing is cool.
(FT) Sorry, its just a little off-putting when someone suddenly appears in a flash of smoke and brimstone. So...what's up?
(S) Not much baby, just checking the scene you know? I've got a lot of free time on my hands these days.
(FT) Really? As messed up as the world is now? I would think that you'd be quite busy with all the shit that's going down.
(S) That's just it man, it aint me! These God folks are the ones messing everything up now, I have nothing to do with it!
(FT) I see. So what have you been up to lately?
(S) Just kind of sitting on the sidelines, waiting to see what happens like everyone else. That and I've taken up quail hunting.
(FT) Oh really? Are there a lot of quail in hell?
(S) You wouldn't believe it man, those are some evil birds.
(FT) Weird. Umm....So....Any big plans?
(S) Listen baby, I'm bored. Lets get some blow and a coupla hookers.
(FT) That's ok....
(S) Come on man, lets get all fucked up and go crazy! I know this one bitch who will let you put it in her pooper for ten bucks!
(FT) That's not really my thing...
(S) You want to just fool around then?
(FT) Dude!
(S) All right, calm down. Never mind. I'm just itching for some kind of action.
(FT) Why did you come to this blog then?
(S) Who do you think gives you all of your ideas?

And with a wink and a smile he vanished, leaving a nasty smell hanging about the room. He didn't seem like a bad guy, just a little starved for attention. I almost feel sorry for him.