That's COUNT Chocula, thank you very much.

I beg your pardon young lady, but I did not honor my king and country through tireless and loyal service to be called Mister Chocula. If Duke Frankenberry were alive to hear this outrageous offense he would surely have you locked in the stocks for a minimum of three days while ravenous vermin penetrated your various orifices in search for sustenance. You have a lot to learn about respecting your betters, vile trollop, though I do fear that your ignorance will be the end of you before you are able to master even the simplest of our society's considerations of hierarchy.

Heed my warning, my dear, for I issue it with the gravest of sincerity. Had you made such a blunder with a less patient man, you may have found yourself on the wrong end of a cold rapier. Take this lesson and carry it with you always, lest your stupidity be your death.

Now, I would like to deposit my social security check and I will need a roll of quarters for the laundry machine. Thank you.