I can find at least three things that I like about you.

That's right, baby, I am an observant, sensitive man who knows that there is something beautiful about every woman; and usually at least three things that I like in particular. Don't believe me? I've seen the way you shy away from attention because you are self-conscious about those third degree burns on your face and neck. But you know what those burns tell me? That you have lived an exciting life, baby, and excitement is sexy!
Need another one? How about the way you always hide your hands because you can't stop biting your fingernails until they are bloody and horrible looking? Those nails wouldn't get so gruesome if you didn't have a nice strong set of choppers. I bet you could bite through a human thumb. And that turns me on.
I promised three things, right? It's no problem at all with an attractive little number like you. I could point out how close to matching length your legs are, or how that big soft caboose of yours could probably suffocate a grown man like SIDS does a baby, but neither of those compare to how hot that colostomy bag gets me. Whenever I hear that delicate rustle of medical plastic under a woman's top, I just go crazy. You poop in a bag, mama, and that gets my motor running in a real big way.
You see, I can always find something to like about a member of the fairer sex. Why don't you come on back to my trailer tonight? I'll make you wish that scoliosis brace was made for bull riding. Aww yeah.