I cannot hide it any longer, I am a closet kite enthusiast.

I know this comes as a shock to you honey, and I can totally understand if you need some time for this, but I just had to get this off my chest. I've kept my shameful secret buried deep down for twelve long years of marriage. I only hope that you can look past my love of kites and we can try to put this behind us.

It started out innocently enough. A few stashed away bundles of silk, some wistful doodles. Soon I was scouring the internet for fantastic kite festivals in far off foreign lands, checking out books full of beautiful and complex box kite designs, and secretly keeping string in my underwear. By the time I realized I was a full-blown enthusiast, I was sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night to sail against the wind with my lovingly hand made flier.

Oh Barbara, I can see by the look on your face that you find my obsession disgusting and horrible. But it is who I am! I beg you to give it time, eventually you will see that there is nothing wrong with loving kites! You may even come to like them yourself!

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have insinuated that you might enjoy something like that. Please Barbara, all I ask is for a little understanding. Let me be me, and let me enjoy my kites!

Oh, you're going to stay with your sister for a while. Ok, I understand, take all the time you need to come to terms with what I have just told you. I'll wait here for you, my loving wife, except for the weekend of the 15th when I'll be at the "Come Fly Away!" festival in Roanoke, Virginia. It is time to come out of the closet, by god, and announce to the world that I am a kite lover!