Little known facts about Bill Gates

• Created from the combined DNA of history's greatest geeks, kind of like Serpentor from G.I. Joe.
• Uses his philanthropy efforts to divert attention away from the greased-up midget fights he holds in his back yard.
• In exchange for allowing him to continue to exist, has Steve Jobs over one weekend a month to wear a French Maid outfit and call him "Master."
• Plays a mean mouth harp.
• Holds the world record for consecutive uses of the phrase "Booya!" under his pseudonym, >~dopekilla187~<.
• Has yet to savagely cornhole Justin Long, but could do so with a snap of his fingers.
• Drinks otter urine to maintain his virility and lightning reflexes.
• Has almost perfected the art of charging you money after you die.
• Knows the pornography habits of every Windows user in the world; one day will use that knowledge to build a super weapon capable of sending the human race into a compulsive masturbation fit and allowing him to step in and take power without opposition.