The adventures of Rock Gunderson, Private Eye Pt. 1
It was one of those mornings where you genuinely hate yourself for all of the horrible things that you've done to your own body. I can't remember the name of the girl snoring loudly next to me and I'm glad that I can't see her face from here. If I can successfully avoid eye contact until I get her out of here, I might retain one small shred of self dignity. The phone rings while I'm taking a piss and I let the machine get it. I can't make out the words, but it doesn't sound like a telemarketer, so I hussle out and pick it up.
"Mr. Gunderson?" Female, sounds refined. "My name is Eva Dryer. I'm sorry to call you at home but your secretary assured me it wouldn't be a problem."
Sheila, that sadistic bitch. I swear her life mission is to make me as miserable as humanly possible. For some reason I've never had the balls to fire her.
"I'm interested in hiring you. Its about my husband." I tell her to meet me at my office in an hour and scribble out a note for the snoring girl explaining that I am dying of cancer and that she should lock up on her way out. I could care less about her stealing anything. I don't really have anything worth stealing anyway.
Thanks to the goddam traffic I barely make it in before Ms. Dryer arrives. She's older but holding up pretty well. Well dressed, lots of jewelry. Interesting.
Its the standard case, she thinks Mr. Dryer is cheating on her and wants me to tail him and find out. Normally I avoid these jobs like the plague. The distraught wife almost always ends up collapsing in your arms and awkwardly initiating some sort of revenge sex, only to start bawling halfway through. Sex and crying never mix.
This one though, I'm tempted. Ms. Dryer seems like she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders. Aw, who am I kidding? She looks rich, and that's all that matters. I take the case and she gives me the details of Mr. Dryer's comings and goings. She pays me a good chunk of change up front and I don't complain. If I can keep this one going for a while I just might get closer to early retirement.
Sheila shows her out and shakes her perfect ass on the way out the door just to torment me. That's probably why I haven't fired her.
TBC
"Mr. Gunderson?" Female, sounds refined. "My name is Eva Dryer. I'm sorry to call you at home but your secretary assured me it wouldn't be a problem."
Sheila, that sadistic bitch. I swear her life mission is to make me as miserable as humanly possible. For some reason I've never had the balls to fire her.
"I'm interested in hiring you. Its about my husband." I tell her to meet me at my office in an hour and scribble out a note for the snoring girl explaining that I am dying of cancer and that she should lock up on her way out. I could care less about her stealing anything. I don't really have anything worth stealing anyway.
Thanks to the goddam traffic I barely make it in before Ms. Dryer arrives. She's older but holding up pretty well. Well dressed, lots of jewelry. Interesting.
Its the standard case, she thinks Mr. Dryer is cheating on her and wants me to tail him and find out. Normally I avoid these jobs like the plague. The distraught wife almost always ends up collapsing in your arms and awkwardly initiating some sort of revenge sex, only to start bawling halfway through. Sex and crying never mix.
This one though, I'm tempted. Ms. Dryer seems like she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders. Aw, who am I kidding? She looks rich, and that's all that matters. I take the case and she gives me the details of Mr. Dryer's comings and goings. She pays me a good chunk of change up front and I don't complain. If I can keep this one going for a while I just might get closer to early retirement.
Sheila shows her out and shakes her perfect ass on the way out the door just to torment me. That's probably why I haven't fired her.
TBC
posted by B at Sunday, September 17, 2006
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