Fetishes yet to be satisfactorily represented on the Internet

Gall Bladder Stimulation

Guinea Pig Scat Play

Plant Molesting

Glass Blowing

Mr. Belvedere Roleplay

Orthopedic Shoe Worship

Embarrassed Nude Teamsters (ENT)

Golden Thunderstorms

Cock Fencing

Ankle Shaving

Sado-Altruism


*For fear of what I might find, I didn't actually reasearch any of these to see if there is something similar out there. If there is someone braver than I, then by all means go forth and let us know what you come across.

Things I did NOT do on New Year's Day...

...punch a kitten in the face.

...masturbate repeatedly to the picture of Rachel Ray on the Triscuits box.

...invent an exciting new kind of yodeling.

...reenact Snakes on a Plane with three hamsters and a Wheaties box.

...scour the internet for Mr. Belvedere erotic fan fiction.

...improve on the Macarena.

...brutally murder Ty Pennington with a claw hammer.

...bake the world's most delicious cake.

...set a new world record in number of attempted suicides.

...create a fake profile on a pro-anorexia forum just to get a little compassion.


Things I did do on New Year's Day...

...watch about six straight hours of vh1 for lack of anything better on.

...fantasize about brutally murdering Ty Pennington with a claw hammer.