Why is Jack so desperate to return to the island?

• A hot piece of ass like Juliette is hard to find these days.
• The island gave him mysterious powers such as "not being addicted to painkillers."
• He forgot his keys.
• There are dramatically less car accidents.
• Nobody understands him and everyone else is stupid.
• He never finished carving that really cool slot car track.
• He has been training intensely and finally feels ready to take down Hurley in Ping Pong.
• He accidentally left his favorite watch inside of Ben.
• Kate in a bikini.

Future Lost Spoilers

Desmond starts having daily "visions" of Kate going to the bathroom.

Claire's baby is Jack's father.

Juliette manages to impregnate Sawyer, fulfilling his most precious and secret wish.

Hurley opens a beachfront fried boar joint, only to lose it in a freak tidal wave/meteor shower/monster truck accident.

Locke accidentally destroys the second island when he pushes the button labeled "SELF DESTRUCT DO NOT PUSH DANGER DANGER DANGER!!!" just to see what would happen.

The Smoke Monster is really just a playful pup that doesn't know its own strength. After patient obedience training it soon becomes a beloved member of the group.

Charlie gets eaten by a half-man half-shark. The half-man part is Jack's father. (Thanks JB!)

Jack reveals that his true plan all along was just to get Kate and Juliette into a threesome.

The Others turn out to be nothing more than an elaborate network of agents formed to sell timeshares.

Michael and Walt return guns blazing with the fighting men and women of the 105th, under the command of Jack's father.

Ben is actually little Timmy Jenkins, age 8. The whole series turns out to be in Timmy's imagination as he plays in the back yard.

Desmond Does the Math

Desmond approaches Charlie as he tosses sea shells into the ocean.

Desmond: How goes it, brother?

Charlie: Can't complain you know, Des.

Desmond: Listen Charlie, I've been doing some thinking.

Charlie: Aye?

Desmond: Well, you know how I've been doing my best to watch out for you and keep you alive these last few weeks?

Charlie: Right mate, and I appreciate it.

Desmond: Its these accidents you see, I've started to notice a trend.

Charlie: What's that, Des?

Desmond: Maybe its nothing, but...Ok, well the first one, I kept you from being struck by lightning outside of Claire's tent yeah?

Charlie: Yeah...

Desmond: And then there was stopping you from drowning while trying to save Claire. After that it was preventing you from slipping off the rocks while getting that bird for Claire.

Charlie: Go on...

Desmond: (Growing slightly agitated) All right, well, then I told you not to eat that fruit that Claire picked. Then I shot that boar that was going to attack you on your hike with Claire. Then I kept you from impaling yourself with that spear while you were fishing with Claire. Then I pointed out that rusty nail you almost snagged yourself on while bringing back the dresser you found for Claire. Then I pulled you out of the quicksand you fell into while daydreaming about Claire.

Charlie: Ok....

Desmond: And just this morning, I gave you the Heimlich maneuver when you started choking on that granola bar that Claire gave you! Don't you see a pattern here?

Charlie: What are you trying to say, mate?

Desmond: Christ, LOOK OUT!

Desmond shoves Charlie aside as Claire's wrecked automobile inexplicably appears out of nowhere and comes crashing down where Charlie was standing.

Charlie: That was close! So tell me Des, what is this all about?

Desmond: (Sighing) Never mind, Charlie. Just stay away from the bonfire tonight, ok?