Superman's Itinerary for May 31, 2007

6:00 am - Wake up early to watch Wonder Woman sleep for a while with X-Ray vision.

8:00 am - Remember to mention that Batman looks heavier in those tights at breakfast, continue pushing for eating disorder.

9:00 am - Work out at gym, keep a low profile. Clark Kent cannot be seen lifting 700 pounds.

10:30 am - Extra long shower in locker room. No need for low profile, Clark Kent's Super-Dong should be enjoyed by all.

11:15 am - Read paper over latte at Starbucks, try to angle front page story so anyone walking by can see that Clark Kent wrote it.

12:00 pm - Start workday off light, warm fists up on a few petty thugs.

1:30 pm - Lunch with Lois at Viccino's, make a fuss over her manicure for possible BJ points.

2:30 pm - Throw down with whatever Evil Genius/Monster/Alien/Foreigners happen to be causing trouble today.

6:00 pm - Cook dinner for entire Justice League. Make a point of explaining Batman's portion made with special "Low Fat" ingredients.

8:00 pm - Gilmore Girls

9:00 pm - Wonder Woman takes her bubble bath.

10:00 pm - Take out post bath-watching boner on Lois' cornhole.

11:30 pm - Hit the sack after a few chapters of Harry Potter.